Helping Well Means First Checking What the Other Person Wants

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A piece in DEV Community's social capabilities series argues that a person's movements can hint at their aim, but similar actions may serve different goals. Using a birdhouse-building scene, it shows that helping by passing a tool can ease a small obstacle without taking over the task the person wants to complete. The article draws on research by Warneken and Tomasello on young children supporting others' goals, while noting that such experiments do not reveal a person's long-term wishes. It suggests that clarifying the scope of help, such as asking which part to assist with, and noticing whether the person can continue on their own helps preserve their agency. The author also notes that goals can shift over time and that inferring someone's goal is different from being entitled to decide it for them.

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